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AI-Powered Resume Destruction

Get Brutally Honest
AI Resume Feedback

Findoutexactlywhyrecruitersaren'tcalling.Score,roast,andshareablescorecardin30seconds.€2.99,nosignuprequired.

Roast My Resume — €2.99Only €2.99 · No signup required
Resume never storedResults in 5 secondsLaunch price — won't last
Example Roast
0/100
Experience6/10
Skills4/10
Format5/10
Impact3/10

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Get your resume roasted — €2.99 →
New · Be among the first to get roasted

Three Steps to Humiliation

The whole thing takes under a minute. Ripping off the band-aid has never been this easy.

1

Upload

Drop your resume PDF. We extract the text and forget the file instantly.

2

Pay €2.99

One-time payment. No subscription. No BS. Cheaper than a latte.

3

Get Roasted

AI delivers a brutally honest roast, a score, and real improvement tips.

No signup. No subscription. Just upload and go.

A Taste of the Carnage

Real excerpts from real roasts. Names changed to protect the incompetent.

34
YIKES

Anonymous Resume #4,291

Software Engineer · 2 years experience · 3 pages (why?)

Shareable Score Card
5/10
Experience
3/10
Skills
6/10
Format
2/10
Impact

"Led cross-functional synergies" — buddy, that's not a skill, that's a word salad.

3 pages for 2 years of experience? Your resume has more padding than a winter jacket.

Your skills section lists Microsoft Word. It's 2025. That's like bragging you can use a doorknob.

Full roast + shareable score card you can post anywhere

Get Your Score Card — €2.99 →

Resume Roast vs $49/mo Resume Tools

Resume Worded, Jobscan, and Teal charge monthly subscriptions for generic advice. Here's what €2.99 gets you — once, no strings attached.

FeatureUs$49/mo Tools
Shareable Score Card
Score Out of 100
Category Breakdown (8+ areas)
Brutally Funny Roasts
Actionable SuggestionsSort of
No Account Required
Custom-Tuned Persona
Instant (< 5 seconds)
Costs $49/month subscription€2.99
Sneaky auto-renewals€2.99
Score card
+
Breakdown
+
Roast
=€2.99

More Than Just Insults

Okay, mostly insults. But also genuinely useful stuff.

Instant Results

Your roast is ready in under 5 seconds. No waiting, no email, no fluff.

100% Private

We never store your resume. Text is extracted, roasted, and purged. Zero data retention.

Actually Useful

Beyond the laughs — get a real score breakdown and actionable suggestions to fix your resume.

Share Your Score

Get a slick score card image. Post it on LinkedIn. Flex or cry — your choice.

One-time payment

Career coaches charge €200+. Resume services charge €50+. We charge less than a coffee.

€2.99

Per Roast

No subscription. No auto-renewal traps. Not $49/month — just one payment, forever.

  • Brutally honest AI roast (3-5 paragraphs)
  • Score out of 100 with category breakdown
  • Shareable score card image — post it anywhere
  • 3-5 actionable improvement suggestions
  • Results in under 5 seconds
Roast My Resume — €2.99
Not happy? Email us for a refund. No questions asked.

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Frequently Asked Questions

The stuff you're wondering before you hand over €2.99.

Get Your
Shareable Score Card

A slick, visual score card you can post on LinkedIn, share with friends, or use as motivation to actually fix your resume.

Plus a full roast, category breakdown, and actionable tips.

Roast My Resume — €2.99